Panties For Men

One day last week, a package came in the mail that was addressed to my wife.  When I gave it to her, she said: “No honey, this is actually for you.  It’s a gift I got for you for Valentine’s Day, but it kept getting back-ordered, but now it’s finally here.  Open it.”

When I opened it, my jaw literally dropped.  Here were 4 pair of panties, a style that had been discontinued by lingerie makers about 100 years ago.   They were bloomers with ruffled leg openings.  They were very shiny and slippery satin.  Although the attached photo shows them as being pink. They’re actually what the vendor calls Pumpkin.  I think they’re now the prettiest panties I own.

The construction is unique in that the ‘seams’ run down the front and back, rather than down the sides like most panties.  That unique construction does some things that most ordinary panties don’t do, to or for me at least.  #1, it causes my butt crack to ‘eat’ my panties.  I feel so sexy prancing around in them while they’re teasing my butt crack.  #2 the front seam ‘bisects’ my manhood in such a way that it produces a perfect ‘camel toe’ in front.  I have so much fun just lounging in my chair and fondling my shiny slippery camel toe.  I went “over the top” when she started kissing my camel toe after pulling my hand away from it.  Call me a hearse, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven!

The first time I wore my new panties in public, I wore yoga pants over them.  Before I left, my wife told me that my crack eating my panties caused my butt to protrude more than it usually does.  That, combined with the yoga pants, left little to the imagination when viewed from behind.  She also told me to be ready for ‘comments’ from strangers.  Well, she was right.  I’d been in the mall 15 minutes at most, when three different women commented on my ‘cute butt’.  I thanked them.  One of them even asked me if she could touch it!  When she saw that my ‘camel toe’ started ‘growing’, she high-tailed it out of there, saying as she left: “OMG, I didn’t mean to cause that”.  Yeah, right.

Since these panties are so heavenly in so many ways, why did the lingerie makers discontinue that style 100 years ago?  They were just stupid, I guess.