Do you know how lucky you are, why when I was a kid had to walk 10 miles in the snow to school and had holes in my shoes.
Coming from a parent trying to express how easy their child had it.
#1. You live in California? Where's the snow
#2. Did they even have shoes then?
Paraphrasing Clint Eastwood's monologue, in 1971's Dirty Harry, just after he's blasted a bank robber in the leg, with his S & W 0.44 Cal. Mag.: "Well, in all this excitement, I kinda lost track . . . 'Did I fire Five, of did I fire Six?' . . . you're probably wondering the same, punk . . . was it Five, or was it Six?" Whereupon Harry dry-fires upon a dead chamber, and the robber almost dies of fright, at that. "Well, DO YOU FEEL LUCKY TODAY, PUNK, DO YOU?!?!"
I know people who could step in dog doo and it would turn into gold. Me, I'd just have a smelly mess. If there were just two tickes to million dollar drawing, I'd have the losing ticket. I don't carry a rabbits foot with me because, the rabbit had four and where did it get him. Im so unlucky, that if there were two people left on the earth and I was one of them, the other would be Obama. I'm so lucky, if I were around at the time of the Titanic, I would have been on it. I'm so lucky that if I lived in a poor family wtih four girls and one boy and I was the younest, I'd have to wear hand me downs, wait a minute that would be exceptional good luck. If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.
We need bad luck to stay around. If it wasn't for bad luck, there would be no good luck, and we know that we could all use a little bit of good luck. No, that is not a Linda original, but rather a bit of philosophy from none other than The Old Philosopher him (or her) self.
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I think a woman's pantied back side is the most beautiful thing in the whole world. Now if she'll just slap my face with it, I'll be her slave forever.
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. 
